Communication difficulties increase when one individual insists they are right and the other is wrong. Choice Theory teaches that the problem with which one struggles is usually not a simple issue of right versus wrong. Angering often leads to verbal and physical aggression and decreased problem solving while nonangering total behavior leads to assertiveness and increased problem solving. In Angering in the Family, author J. Thomas Bellows, PhD, explores appropriate methods for relating to one's spouse, mate, child or other significant person in one's life. He also informs people that it is how they choose their total behavior regarding the person or event that leads to the choice to anger.

Choice Theory defines all behavior as being total behavior and states that it is designated by verbs named by the component that is most recognizable. Therefore, angering is the chosen total behavior of acting out anger.